Click Here To Ask A Question 

Q: "It seems to me that you have been hurt many times before in past relationships. I'm sure you have been, but who hasn't? I guess my question to you is why is it so hard for you to believe in true and undying love? What else has happened to you in your life to make it so difficult, besides any women who's hurt you in a relationship before. Is it just that or something else? Sarah
A: "True and undying love? ha ha. Stop reading romance novels. I was never dropped as a child, but I did have my arm pulled out of location once. The thought of one chick, for the rest of my life? Limiting, and sad."

Q: "How did you get to be so pimp? Much love..." D$
A: "Started 1992. Hanging out in a strip club. Talking to some chicks. Realized, I could become an agent. Started booking the chicks. That's one aspect of my pimpin'. My coolness and confidence ensures me Pimp Hall of Fame credentials."

Q: "is it possible to stick whole 20ounce bottles up you r ass and pussy at the same and look through them with a flash light ? if it is lets it . signed the" BEAVER
A: "You can't look in the bottle in your pussy and see out your ass. But if you are into double penetration, you could be a porn star. When you go to the zoo with your boyfriend, does zookeeper say, "thanks for bringing her back" ?

Q: "You know how some of girls say that guys are gross if they masturbate all the time, well i was wonderin if just about all girls do it themselves and are just covering it up" - ishfish
A: "Guys jerk off more than girls. But as girls get older, the start masturbating more and more"

Q: "what is the best way to have an orgasim if you are a female?" candieapple tennessee, usa
A: "If you were from NH I would have said, 'ME'. But you aren't, so, a good vibrator on your clit" (While blowing me)

Q: "Sometimes when I touch myself I think about women. Does that mean I am a lesbian?" Manchester, NH
A: "No, I think you would have actually be with a girl. Thinking of something doesn't make it become it. I think I'm cool, and I'm not."

Q: "when i see a girl with huge boobs i think why don't i go and have sex with her" anonymous
A: "Bravo"

Q: "What if I want Britney spears? but I can't get to her what should i do? Matthias california,tennessee
A: "Buy a poster"

Q: "Some dumbfuck just broke my window ! I know who it is, should i just break his window or break his legs ! His girlfriend is pretty hot, should i just fuck her and get even !" Hobbs Surrey BC cAnada
A: "Break his window with his leg, then make him watch you fuck his girl. Hang your coat on his head"

Q: "Is there anything girls can do for guys (beside sex) that they would really like..you know...like girls like flowers, hugs, and phone calls. What romantic things do guys like?" anonymous
A: "Massages are good. Hugs, I like hugs. Blowjobs, but you knew that. Phone calls are good too. Booty calls are real good. I'm sorry, I just don't deal with romance so I always bring up sex. Rent a movie, and hang on the couch. Hell, I'm lost"

Q: "My name is Kate, and I've been married for 2 months as of tomorrow. I feel as though I was forced into this marraige by my father, for I'd only known ""Patrick"" for hours before he proposed to me, more or less. Actually, to be honest, he TOLD me we were going to be married, and I had no choice in the matter. Anyway, that is not the problem I come to you with. I feel as though I've become 100% submissive as of late, and I detest it. All he ever does is boss me around and try to make me see EVERYTHING HIS WAY. I mean, he's even tried convincing me that when I look outside at the SUN, I am actually seeing the moon. And I was forced to agree with him and his midevil thinking if I did not want to get slapped. Of course, I felt humiliated, admitting that I was looking at the moon in broad daylight. My self-esteem has taken a nose dive in the past months...but I am trapped. I am bound loyally in wedlock with this man, and neither I, nor my family, believes in divorce, so that is out of the question. What on earth can I do to at least feel human again?  Katherine, Padua, Italy
A: "You are in a bad situation. Why can't you divorce. Move to USA, fuck him"

Q: "Why is this website so goddamn Gay?" anonymous
A: "Hmmm, good question, lemme ask my boyfriend"

Q: "hey meni, My tits use to be a c and now the have gone down to a b. why is that, I got sick a long time ago and lost about 10 pounds and my tits went down. How do I get my c cup back?" anonymous
A: "You would have to gain weight, and I don't recommend that, hows your ass look?"

Q: "Meni, how close are u really with Jenna Jameson." T from Texas, USA
A: "I do Support for Clubjenna.com

Q: "Who's got a bigger penis adam or u?" T from Texas, USA
A: "Adam who?"

Q: "have you seen Dogma? and is it true about what they say about anal sex and farting the cum out afterwards?
sex" Zanthe
A: "Saw Dogma, it was OK, and yes chicks can shoot cum out of their asses"

Q: "what is needed in piecring my clit? thanks: s.u.c ny
A: "You need to go to a pro"

Q: "Hahaha. Hi Meni, I happened to stumble across your website. Personaly, I think you are sick- expeshally your view on women. Sure, you talk the talk, but I think you'de fall as you ""tryed"" to walk the walk. You seem to be too confident of yourself, people like you make it so easy to tell that you're probley ugly as shit. I bet you're fat too, and it sure sounds like the only girl you've gotten in bed is a drunk one! Yeah, cause if they weren't drugged, they'd realize how nasty you are. I bet you're a virgin. And if you do fuck as many chicks as you say, then you're either a walking STD or you have AIDS"
A: "Crabs twice"

Q: "How can I drink without that my parents take note of it?" 22 year old
A: "Drink when you are sleeping over your buddies house"

Q: "Can you tell me 10 people that wear hats at their work? KC from MN
A: "Should I really answer this, is this a joke? The Red Sox"

Q: "Is your ego bigger than your Cock?" anonymous
A: "Of course"

Q: "Meni.. Can you stop these hallucinations?" anonymous
A: "No, you are going insane, seek help"

Q: "you know what would be awsome, railin a fat bitch with a jackhammer that has a dildo attached on it, oh, and wearing a yellow hard-hat, your ill fan" STEVO
A: "dude, been there, done that"

Comment: "Go get your fucking shinebox!" anonymous
Meni's reply: "OK, I will, but don't you want me to suck your cock first?"

Q: "I'm thinking about getting my clit pierce....do u know the safety hazards of doing it" anonymous, girl, i bet
A: "Click Here, and Click Here"

Q: ""Meni, I'm really worrying about my penis size. Is my penis normal size? It's max 4.5"" erect. help me! write and let me know what size is a normal penis, by it I can do intercourse, normally." majazi/pakistan
A: "Bro you are only like 3/4 of an inch off the avg penis size.  Don't worry about it. You can't do anything about it.  Trim your pubes, might help the appearance of size.  Work on your tongue, if you can lick the pussy right, you can win any woman.  I won your sister that way, hee hee"

Q: "I am ready to have a lover -- open up my marraige--my husband is willing too--after 15 years we are bored--we are both excited about living some separate sex life time--it will enhance what we have I think already, too. Comments? anonymous
A: "Sounds like a last ditch effort to save the marriage, try it, are you hot? i want a piece"

Q: ""Hi Meni, I have never seen a better web site than yours. I mean you are really COOL. 24h a day i am looking at it and never get enough. I have state of the art computer and software but i am only faithful to your site having placed ONLY ONE BOOKMARK the bookmark of your page in my browser. I am 50 year old male (don't look down on me sooner all later you will be 50 too) and my problem is that I don't like women over 20 years old. I cant man I just cant fuck them they are wrinkled and disgusting even the slim ones.  Now there is one solution to the problem recommended by the Arabs: "Cover the face with a towel and fuck the pussy"". Unfortunately i dont have that much imagination.  How can a 50 year old RICH with a MERCEDES latest model plus swimming pool decorated with rocks specially smoothened up fot the bitch to sit her ass on it and wet her legs (I am a NOBLE person NOT SOMEONE OFF THE STREETS) seduce a 15 year old. Please don't come up with that crap about ""15 is UNDERAGE"" I "CANT FUCK a MINOR". Just give me a BUDDY TO BUDDY answer. I wish you the best"
LEROY OXFORD BARON
A: "Leroy, I best suggest you ask someone at the state prison"

Q: 'How do I read the column when it brings up a window withour scrol bar to move the page down. It is frustrating to start at the top and only be able to read the top of the page. I don't know howelse to tell anybody. Please Help" anonymous
A: "What browser are you using?" "

Q: 'what is this meni" dale, kentucky
A: "Hold it up higher, I can't see it, oh, they gay porno mag you masturbate to"

Q: "do you know what time it is" anonymous
A: "Yes, it's time to buy a watch"

Q: "Do men like forward women? I have a tendency to wink at men, touch them as I walk by, and sincerly compliment them. This never works with men I really like, but extemely attractive assholes respond by trying to get me to come home with them. Am I freaking out the nice guys? Should I change or just make the best of it and fuck the assholes? Kitten, IL
A: "Fuck the assholes, hurry.  I like forward women.  Nice guys do get freaked out, but why be with a nice guy?  He'll bore you, he probably sucks in bed, and he's no challenge, a girl like you likes challenges"

Q: "is incest bad?" anonymous
A: "Its fun for the whole family"

Q: "how does it feel to be a porn star" macie
A: "Honey, I've never been in a porn film, and also, I hate the term porn star? they call just about any girl who's done a scene, a porn star.  That's stupid.   Are you cute?"

Q: "Hey Meni, What superstar would you like to fuck?" Crackhead
A: "Britney Spears, Christina Aguillera, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Carmeron Diaz, Carmen Electra, Faith Hill, a few models, Jessica Alba, and Michael Jordan"

Q: "how cum the vibrators you get are never able to work??? Do they really think you are going to return them??" anonymous
A: "Moron, buy batteries"

Q: "How do I get this brick out of my ass? Stoned
A: "Dude, why did you run out of my apt? come back over and I'll remove the brick, then I will skull fuck you bro"

Q: "what is biggest penis ever recorded" anonymous
A: "Don't worry champ, it wasn't yours"

Q: "Can you spend only $15.00 on the weekend and have fun in Raleigh North Carolina? What should I do? I'm writing a paper on spending only $15.00 for the weekend and suggestion on activities." Bkr Raleigh"
A: "Sure you can.  Buy the cheapest wine you can find, find a homeless lady, take her back to your house"

Q: "am i gay?" jim ohio usa
A: "No"

Q: "Do you know that your site is listed on www.link-o-rama.com   as the useless site of the day? Ha ha ha" clown boy
A: "Yes, I submitted it, didn't you notice, this site is a joke?"

Q: "What are the four most important atoms in living organisms?" anonymous wiseass college kid
A: "Ask your fucking professor, you think I fucking care?"

Q: "have you ever peed on a girl or guy" Lucy Ballz
A: "no, are you offering yourself though?"

Q: "hi meni - why do my balls hurt sometimes for no apparent reason?  JT in KA
A: "When was the last time you got off, if women have been getting you off, try men"

Q: "Yo, what's up?" KE, CA, USA
A: "Yo, not much"

Q: "Hey are you guyz fags or something ?? and what kinda questions are we supposed to ask?" village_idi0t_2001
A : "No, I'm not gay.  And ask anything.  Have you looked over the site? Idi0t?"

Q: "Hey, what's happening! In your popular point of view, what do you consider a slut for a woman, and a slut for a man, see i fuck alot, but i'm not a slut, but my ex, Just started fucking around, and she is a slut???? IS SHE?" anonymous
A: "I'm not a hypocrite.  I won't judge chicks who mess around and call them sluts, yet encourage guys to fuck tons"

Q: "what is the most sexually stimulating scent according to a man?" chick on aol
A: "Vanilla, 2 out of 2 surveyed, said Vanilla"

Q: "I am seeing this guy for about 4 months. He is forcing me to go with him for parties and clubbing. It makes me nervous because I have not been to such kind of parties since 2 years. What do u suggest?"  Ash..NY
A: "If you are uncomfortable, don't go, lose the loser, but I suggest going out to parties atleast twice, maybe you'll like them"

Q: "Can I drink my pregnant wife's breast milk." Link
A: "Hmmm, I don't know, would she let you.  You shouldn't have any problems, your kid will drink it, you can too.  While at it, wear a diaper and piss yourself.

Q: "what exactly is a tabledance? My boyfriend of two years went to a stripclub with his friends last summer and I just found out last week that he got a table dance. Should I be mad. He said they are nothing. I have no idea what goes on in those places and what girls do exactly." some chick
A: "oh my god, tabledance?  leave him!  ok, ok, just fucking with you.   Tabledance, she dances one song, at his table, depending on the state/town laws, maybe 3 foot mininum between customer and dancer, or maybe light contact.  Now, a lap dance? they chick is grinding his cock as hard as she can to get him off, ask if it was a lapdance, and if so, who fucking cares, get over it you tramp!"

Q: "Hey Meni, A ""friend"" of mine has an ex-boyfriend that when she was with at the time, did something that she was kinda freeked out by . At the time she walked in on him jacking off and video taping it, now I`m not anybody to dis a guy for doing something that all men do at one time in there life or another .  But now that there friends and her and I are friends and I commented on the event in question . And she got kinda defensive about , and commented about it by saying ""you know since that I`ve asked around and you would be surprised at
how many guy`s do that.  Now I don`t know if she was saying that to stick-up for her bud , but I like all men have ""spanked the monkey"". And by NO way id I want to look at myself wacking off , since she`s asked a few guy`s and they said they did , Am I a wierdo , but I see nothing arousing in watching myself jack off . I think if the guy took that camera and taped him boning 
his girlfriend at the time , or viceversa me boning my girlfriend now that would give me cause for get aroused ." Needing your advice NH
A: "dude, taping yourself whacking off, is not cool, in my 'Meni's guide to being cool'.  An informal survey by me showed, like, NO ONE admitted to doing it.   OK shoot yourself banging a chick, but jerking off?"

Q: "Hey Meni, I wanna fuck my stepbrother cuz he is fine, but i cant tell him.... HELP" horny stepsister
A: "Flirt with him.  See how he reacts.  Whats the weather like in Tennessee now?"

Q: "meni, I was at a party yesterday and this girl my frined was seing CAME ON TO ME BIG TIME SHE is hot and oll but this guy has been my friend since grade one what do i do? fish on, canada
A: "Can your friend beat the shit out of you?  If not, fuck her.  If he can, fuck her behind his back"

Q: "Do you have any 'penis enlargement techniques'." J, England
A: "Yes, look at a porn site with nude chicks and maybe your penis will grow and harden, maybe double in size"

Q: "HEY MENI, I NEED SOME HELP I WAS TAKING TO NEGGA AND EVERY THING IS COOL WHEN WE ARE ALONE BUT WHEN HE COMES AROUND HIS BOY'S HE ACTS STUPID. SO I BROKE UP WITH HIM AND NOW I WANT TO HURT HIM I WANT TO GET BACK AT HIM BECAUSE HE TOOK MY PRIDE AND PLAY'D WITH ME. PLEASE HELP ME GET BACK AT HIM I HATE HIM BUT I LOVE HIM." anonymous
A: "Ditch him, move on, date someone else, do me, are you legal?"

Q: "why is the sky blue" original question boy
A: "A clear cloudless day-time sky is blue because molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red
light. AND cuz Aliens are playing a movie in the sky, but we are on the other side of the screen, the screen backing is blue"

Q: "Please send me advice because I am 15 years old and have a small penis, please tell me if it will grow" anonymous
A: "Are you male or female?  Is it on your body or in a jar?  It will grow if you stroke it, or place it in a girls mouth.  I doubt it will grow anymore, so for your shake, date girls who are very short and ugly.  Or go on Howard Stern and nail a pornstar"

Q: "GEE MENI, HOW DID YOU GET TO BE SO FAMOUS AND POPULAR ON THE NET?" anonymous
A: "Flattery will get you .. in my pants.  I prayed to Lucifer, just kidding, he likes to be called Satan.  No, really, am I famous? or infamous? or notorious, like Duran Duran?  or B I G?  I'm tired, go bother Jeeves"

Q: "Is my penis normal size? It's 7"" erect. Meni, help me! Dude" anonymous
A: "Dude you are perfect, can I kiss it, just kidding."

Q: "I think i may be having a baby what can i do?" Little foot, Missouri
A: "Tell your parents, tell the priest who got you pregnant, just kidding.   Assuming you have narrowed it down to 10 guys, send each a letter demanding CASH, get a doctor, win the lottery, don't smoke or drink liqour.  Are you the girl I met last Saturday, oops, missouri, forget it"

Q: "Just a stupid question...not really having much to do with sex.  Hey Meni, Why don't you mention how much you love me on this site?? Huh?? Lil' bitch. I'll kick your bitch ass;) LOVe...." Kelsy (prettyhatemachine)!!and im from Iowa oh boy
A: "Becuz you are under 18, jailbait!!!!! hee hee, hurry up and become legal, then you can flirt with me"

Q: "Why is it that when I Meni whay it seems that he puts down women all the time and with the way he talks it seems that he
does not get layed too often He never post an answer to it I have asked it several times." anonymous
A: "I didn't edit your question just to show how stupid you are.  I entertain with this page, I don't put down women, oops, I do."

Q: "One question it seems to me that you have this thing for putting down women are you a fag or do you just think you are that good???  I feel that if a man talks about things he has done to women or wants to do to them he gets little or no action is this the case with you???" anonymous
A: "Fags put women down?  I'm good.  If I talk about things I've done, then I get little or no action?  Then how did I do these things?  If you are a cute chick, I apologize, lets have a drink, if you are a guy, start your own site, and see if you can entertain like me"

Q: "Meni, I am just curious, but how much does a web master make?"  Bill
A: "Well Bill, a good webmaster working all day should make atleast 80K a year"

Q: "HI, I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH TO OF MY BEST FRIENDS FROM ANOTHER SCHOOL. THEY JUST REVEALED TO ME THAT THEY MASTERBATED AND THEM AND ALL THEIR OTHER FRIENDS WERE HAVING A DISCUSSION ABOUT IT. I KNOW THAT THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT BUT NOW I'M ALL WEIRDED OUT!! WHAT SHOULD I DO? usernamewithheld@hotmail.com
A: "Learn how to spell and use correct grammar.  Your friends masturbate???   Dump them, no one does that, hold on, I gotta shave my palm"

Q: "What's the quickest way to lose weight besides excersising, I hate it?" desperate female
A: "You can lose 10 ugly lbs real fast, cut off your head.  Just kidding.   You need to speed up your metabolism, and eat real good.  No fats, light on carbs, protein is fine.  No fried shit. Go tanning, you'll look better, wear black too.  If you don't like excercising, you will have trouble losing it.  Walk, or have sex, send me your pic and if you are cute, I'll bang ya"

Q: "Do you buy Porn magazines, and if yes which ones?" horny kid in Seattle
A: "I don't buy porn mags, sorry, I write a mag though, XXX Generation Magazine.   http://www.xxxgenmag.com if you want to subscribe."

Q: "What the hell are you talking about icp kicks ass, korn sucks, so does pearl jam, korn sold out, and pearl jam just plain out sucks ass" Hoe-Beater
A: "Listen punk, HO, not hoe you moron, and PJ sell out? you fucking stupid bitch, Eddie refused to let the record company make a video for 'Black' which would have been their biggest single ever!  That's integrity.  ICP sucks now.  Why do you think the were wrestling for?  ICP couldn't hold Korn's guitars.  Go wash your face, your zits are getting BAD."

Q: "you should add a Insane Clown Posse section to your site, why don't you?" Hoe-beater
A: "Kid, HO, h o, not hoe, like a tool.  ICP's Great Milenko is the greatest cd made.  But the rest of the shit SUCKS"

Q: "Is there any free info about increasing the size of a penis you can help me with" short dick man
A: "Don't want no short dick man.  Ok champ, here's sure fire way to increase penis size.  Lose the gut, shave down your bush.  Don't bang chicks with big asses, from behind.  Tug on your penis whenever you can, it will expand the blood vessels pools.  You should be hanging down to your knee by Christmas"

Q: "My step dad and uncle are assholes what do I do?" anonymous
A: "The barking black dog outside your house is telling you to kill them.   Don't, how about this, stop sleeping with your step dad and uncle.  Or, move out, get a job kid"

Q: "MENI, TELL ME SOMETHING, WHY IS IT I HAVE BEEN DATING THE SAME GUY FOR FOUR YEARS AND HE HASN'T ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM YET HE HAS TALKED IT SINCE THE FIRST MONTH. HE WILL NOT LET ME MET HIS PARENTS, NOR WILL HE GO AROUND MY PARENTS AND FRIENDS. ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS GO TO HIS HOUSE AND HAVE SEX ALL THE TIME, WE HAVE ONLY BEEN OUT TWICE IN FOUR YEARS. THE SAD TRUTH, WE HAVE NEVER HAD SEX THAT LASTED OVER 10 MIN. NORMALLY HE GETS OFF IN HIS BOXERS PRIOR TO SEX? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY? OR IS IT ME ?" anonymous
A: From Nicola "All he wasnts you for is a fuck get with it girl or do you have NO Brains at all? Why not ask him to marry you and I bet he runs a mile"

Q: "Meetin Umass Ladies, I'd like to meet and great the Umass ladies on-line. Any suggestions ????? I have a big cock, good looking and can get girls off with the swish of my tongue!!"
Mr. Manch Vegas
A: "One look at you, and the UMASS honeys would run"

Q: "Meni.......I know that you seriously don't believe in love anymore......and I know you say that you loved once and then lost.......but honestly and truthfully......do you ever think you'll find it again?? Do you ever think that maybe one day you'll try and find it??? Or at least just let it happen???? I understand your concept on it and everything. I really do. But call me naive and silly and tell me i live in a fantasy world.....but I really do think it does exist.....why can't you anymore?" anonymous
A: "I love, man I love Maria and Martina from Drain STH.  I wouldn't want to give up my singles life to one woman.  Find me a hot chick, who doesn't mind me going out, won't ask questions about where I went, who I was with.  Have her make lots of money and love me.  Let me bang whomever I want, whenever I want, and I'll fall in love."

Q: "Nightmares!  I keep having this recurring dream about a gal I knew in college 20 years ago.  Beautiful ripe mulatto woman. The dream goes on great for a while.  Then, nightmare of nightmares the whole fucking Van Patten family appears in my room! All toothy grins with tennis togs on.  Generations of these fuckers seem to be seeping from every corner and cranny.  I wish Cartman would appear with pliers and start pulling all their pumpkin seeds right out of their heads.  Am I experiencing flashbacks from a more festive time, or could it be the 14 Guinesses and an anchovie pizza I ate?  Help. This is really gotta stop."  Macdaddy
A: "Next"

Q: "This guy goes out on a Friday night, gets wrecked (2 drinks), comes home late, and doesn't want to go out the next night (saturday night) even though there is a great concert he's supposed to go to.  Now i say suck it up, saturday is a new night, the best cure for a hang over is to start drinking again. Well the guy doesn't go, he stays home in bed.  What do you think?" Stone Cold
A: "Hey genius, Friday night I did ecstasy and drank a lot.  Saturday I went to Providence, RI, I didn't stay home.  Concert?  Seen them LAST YEAR, Mr. Johnny Cum Lately.  I didn't have a hang over.  The day after E is fuzzy, but I still was 'the whole fuckin' show"

Q: "Meni,  So your brother is divorced too?  Any kids?  Is he a player like you??  How much older is he?? Does he do the strippers when he takes them around?  Would be hard to believe he wouldn't.  His girlfriend doesn't mind?   Or is she a stripper he drives around?  I find this all amazing."  Nathalie
A: "2 kids, no, 6 years, no, no, no, I'm glad you are amazed"

Q: "Meni, What does your brother and sister think of your business??  Will you ever marry again?  Is your brother single?  Is he cuter than you?  Nathalie
A: "My brother drives my strippers around for my agency, it likes it.  My sister is the nicest person in the world and doesn't mention and doesn't say anything about it.  I won't marry again.  Being single has too much freedom.  My brother is divorced and has a girlfriend.  Is he cuter than me?  No one is.   But he is good looking, hee hee"

Q: ""I've seen pictures in my boyfriend's porn magazines of women who have shaved off their pubic hair.  Do men really like the bald look or do they prefer a little grass on the pitch? Mounara, AUS
A: "We like the bald look AND the little grass pitch.  Make sure it doesn't look like you have Don King between your legs.  Just keep it smelling spring time fresh!"

Q: ""Meni,  You often give advice to keep your family as #1 priority. Do you have any siblings?? Single?? Kids?? Why did you get divorced? Are you on good terms with the ex?? Can you civily have a conversation with her? I have friends that cannot get along with their ex's and have middle people do the talking?? Any advice on how to be civil to one another? What about dating after divorce? Do you bring new people in and out of your kids lives??  You probably won't answer me, but thought I'd give it a try. Nathalie, Sherbrooke, Canada
A: "I have a brother and sister, both older.  I'm divorced.  1 child, my daughter Morgan.  I got divorced because we didn't get along.  We are very civil together.  As soon as I got separated, I did not get into the gossip and crap about what SHE was doing.  Jealously has to place on this planet.  Be kind to your ex, especially if you have children together.   Dating after divorce.  I just "date" so I don't really bring girls home to meet Morgan.  I set up my "dates" on the nights I don't have her.   Thanks for the questions.  Hey I'm only 3 hours drive from you. hee hee.

Q: "are you gay?"mosh
A: "I'm not gay but my flaming boyfriend is.  Actually, I've never kissed a man on the lips, nor sucked an old mans' cock."

Q:"i met this SUPER pretty girl but she is over weight, what should i do? she is really cool to talk to also" Ron, Las Vegas
A: "Do her.  Marry her, divorce her then next morning.  Actually, depending on what else you have in your life, this could be your soulmate.  I have a good friend who dated an overweight girl, she lost a lot of weight, is in the gym and now has a great body.  You have lots of options, make sure you get laid too."

Q: "nice banners for linking to your site, they look great, but you have too much time on your hands...and why haven't you updated in a week? Sr
A: "I was in Florida"

Q: "Okay, how about ""Cyber Sex""? Any good rooms you can send me to?  Crystal-NJ
A: "I have ICQ and AIM, I'll fuck around with ya online. hee hee.  Or you can long onto an IRC server, with MIRC, a free program."

Q: "Dear Meni, This isn't really a question, but I wanted to coment on the Pearl Jam ques. I read on the previous page. It's good that somebody(besides me) is standing up for Pearl Jam, they are my favorite band and anyone who says otherwise can kiss my large @#!*. Thanks Mike
A: "Pearl Jam kicks ass.  Thanks for writing, or I mean typing"

Q: "Meni what's up with all these questions about you being gay and not being able to close the deal. Meni did you tell these clowns you are the fucking deal and these women you do talk to have to close the deal with you! Meni I've fuckeda lot of women in my time but I'd hang around you just to pick up all the ones you throw away. MENI YOU ARE THE WHOLE FUCKING SHOW! 
PS. Meni did not write this!!!!!!!! People get a life this guy speaks his mind if you don't like what he has to say don't ask MENI!!!! blindman
A: "Thanks pal.  I am the whole fuckin' show.   .com too."

Q: "Meni, I think you're wonderful, and I know that I could never have a guy like you because of the way I look.....yes I'm one of those fat chicks who is uglier than shit. Is there any hope for a girl like me to get a guy like you?" anonymous
A: "Of course there is honey.  There is someone out there for everyone.   If you feel insecure about yourself, do something about.  Looks aren't everything."

Q: "Why is meni such a tool. You look like a fourteen year old limp bizkit protege. and why dont you try doing something original?" jealous
A: "I'll turn the cap around and then I'm Derek Jeter.  I'll dress like Ricky Martin, or I'll listen to Phish.  Are you judging me by a one pic?  hee hee thanks, show me your pic champ"

Q: "Meni, How do you define "bedroom eyes"?  Cause from your picture, I think you have them" Married But Not Blind
A: "If you look up 'bedroom eyes' in the dictionary, my picture is there.   Bedroom eyes put you in the mood immediately.  As for a female giving a male bedroom eyes, no need baby, just say HELLO"

Q: "hey meni, when are you gonna give up that pathetic patriots team and become the fan of a REAL football team like the Packers?" aimee
A: "The Fudge Packers?  Brett "I abuse prescribed medicine" Favre?  Patriots are without their running back, and we'll still kick that fucking asses.  Bledsoe will put up record numbers this year.   No one expects us to do anything this year.  But WATCH.  You can still call me Mark in bed"

Q: "Sibling Sex?  Dear Meni, my sister has always been really negative about my bisexuality. She has been married for 10 years, is still very pretty, and has started having an affair. She colored her hair to look like mine, which is weird enough, but
on a recent visit, she actually asked me to join in with her and her boyfriend! I don't want to be rude, but that's just too kinky, even for me. I'm close to my sister, but NOT THAT CLOSE! How can I let her know that I love her but I'm just not interested in a threesome with my own baby sister?" Confused Sister
A: "Incest, lets keep it in the family.  Actually I consider incest BAD.   Just say NO, she should still know you love her.  Would you date me????"

Q: "Oh meni I am hot I am the whole fucking show!  Amanda
A: "I am The Whole Fucking Show®"

Q: "OK I have a question there is a video of Jr and his hot little number Amanda.   Who has it?  Also why are older women so dirty. I met one one time and she was like all over my friends shit.  She was all up in this guys balls like a freshman at her first frat party!  The guys ended up with someone else but can you please tell me why these women are just so nasty!" Bo bo
A: "The video of JR & Amanda is now owned by Seth Warshawsky of IEG.   They also own the Pam tape.  Older women as hornier.  They have more experience in the sack.  What's the probem?  Fuck them all."

Q: "Another hello to Amanda and the UMASS cuties, Amanda's a great dancer,(something about the back of a pickup truck). If her friends are like her, well they must be alot of fun and kind of crazy. When are we taking a road trip? Bring Buffett back for another show. Meni are you going to go next time?" The Rock Says
A: "I might go to Buffet, I hate the music, I'll just hang in the parking lot.   Is Amanda hot???   I haven't seen her, yet."

Q: "Rumor has it that there is a video of JR dancing in a grass skirt in the back of a pickup truck.  I think we can make him "the most downloaded man" on the web. Interested???? fsuone
A: "I think that video would out sell the Pam/Tommy video.  I'll talk to my distributors.  Does he blow any guys in it?  I know when he drinks he gets CRAZY"

Q: "My gym is closing down......I went to this other gym just to have a look and this lady told me "" but u just can't stop training"".....is that true????? fit chick........brazil"
A: "HUH?  fit chick?  keep training, or ease up and you'll still look good.  Any good steroids in Brazil?  Do you know the Gracies?

Q: "I want to do something kinky to one of your best friends, what do you suggest I do? Love you" u mass pen pal
A: "I don't know if he'll like it, try it on me first.  Remember in 'Interface Monthly' I was mentioned as 'The Porn King of New Hampshire'.  Woohooo.   hee hee, I love all you UMASS girls.  Take it easy ladies."

Q: "How can I keep my goldfish alive??  I have had three die on me today and the final one is in critical condition at this moment. He could take a turn for the worse any moment and I am really upset! It is not the kind of upset that JR could comfort. Also, my fish seems to be somewhat constipated....is this possible????" JR's sex toy and all the other fine lookin' ladies at UMass
A: "Change the water.  Fish can be constipated if their owners are horny little college girls who crave sex 24/7.  Fucking great too, JR has a sex toy at UMASS, how about me?  I'm the Whole Fuckin' Show.  I have UMASS graduate doing bachelor parties for me, what are they teaching out there?  Hey Amherst is a haul, so make sure I have a bed to "sleep" in, hee hee"

Q: "First of all i would like to say that i really like your site Meni.... I go out clubbing every weekend but i find it hard to pick up guys........what do u like from a girl when u see her in a club????  What do i have to do to get their attention???? Broken heart.......UK
A: "Just say Hi to a guy, that's how you pick him up.  Easy for girls to pick up guys.  Guys are dogs.  You in the UK???  Do some E, suck on a lollipop and wink at the boys."

Q: "This guy comes in all the time, and all he does is talk to the dancers but never buys one, is that cause he's gay? Nicky and the girls at Matthews
A: "No, some guys don't give a shit about dances.  Some guys are agents and know dancers inside/out and know that the dance is a fantasy type thing for certain men.   Giving money to a girl who pretends to be interested in you???  Matthews, huh, didn't Foxy Lady take all your good girls? hee hee.  Just kidding. I know who wrote this.  Miss you."

Q: "I was really moved by the way you spoke of your ex-girlfriend. To me that is a turn on, not the other mean hateful things you say about women. Why don't you get back together w/her?  Did you love her, do you still love her, because according to your friend Anthony, love lasts forever." Tammy, TX
A: "I don't love her anymore, I care for her.  She's involved with the same rebound relationship since we broke up, years ago.  I'm not interested in a relationships with anyone right now.  So I turned you on?  Great. Talk to you again?"

Q: "I see in one of your answers you mention and x, I thought you did not get involved with any one person.  What happened to that relationship and was that before or after you were married."  Tammy, TX
A: "My ex I was referring too was from 1991.  I was married June 96 till Nov 98.  In 1991, I wanted to sow my oats, go clubbing, have fun with my friends.   She is a sweet girl, and if I think I could love anyone, it's here.  She was so nice, and I was so mean to her, and it still bothers me today.  I'll be in Dallas, Oct. 15-17, you live anywhere near there?"

Q: "I feel as if I know Meni from somewhere, where does he live?" anonymous
A: "In a van, down by the RIVER!"

Q: ""Who is the good looking guy in the picture?"   anonymous
A: "Flattery will get you ...... in my pants"

Q: "I am 27 y.o. I have lived in NH all my life and think it is time for a change.  I was thinking about moving west.   Do you know anything about Nevada, Arizona or Colorado?" anonymous Granite Stater
A: "Nevada?  Las Vegas, EVIL.  Stay away.  Well, evil for you, home for me. Arizona, nice, my ex-gf lives there.  Colorado?  Snow, don't go."

Q: ""Meni, seeing that you are the Whole Fuckin Show, why cant you build an index page that doesn't have horizontal scroll at 800x600 res?  I get really tired of seeing that little scroll, it kind of annoys me.... " the anal retentive webmistress
A: "I think I fixed it, did I?  Actually I don't care what you think, unless you are hot, then again there are ton of hot chicks, get a life"

Q: "I stopped biting my nails earlier this year, but even though they look great, I still have the desire to pick, and nibble, and gnaw on them. What's the best way to keep my fingers out of my mouth forever?   Short of cutting them off, I mean."  Claire, NC
A: "Stick them up your ass"

Q: "I think you need to have a category about Donny, my girl friends feel the
same way.  Is Donny related to you?  This really doesn't matter to us, but we are curious.  How does Donny manage to live like a bachelor when you are here?   How long have you guy's been practicing your stand up routines?  Who are you guy's?.   Almost of the girls seem to really like you guy's, but I notice you guy's are not affected by this.   Which brings me to my last question, are you guys gay? Jealous
A: "Category about Donny?  Why?  I'm 'The Whole Fuckin' Show®'.  He is not related to me, thank god.  Why thank god you might ask?  If we were related, our homosexual affair would be incestuous.  Live like a bachelor?  How?  He goes out with his buddy a couple of nights a month?   We hit strip bars?  Safer than nightclubs, for a marriage.  How many guys have taken home a stripper from a strip club??  How many have taken a girl home from a nightclub??????  Thanks for the clue, you wrote 'when you are here'.  Lucky Dennis didn't roll into Florida.  I don't practice my routine.  Donny stands in front of the mirror nude and practices 40 minutes a day.  Who are we?  Meni Troupakis, and Donald Ross.  Almost all the girls seem to really like us, and we are not affected by this?????  Of course this affects me, see how cocky and arrogant I am???  Are we gay?  Ask Donny, I call it rough play, maybe he considers is GAY activities."

Q: "Meni, could you please tell me what you think of the new Pearl Jam song? The 60s remake that I love?" kk
A: "Didn't care for it much, till I read the lyrics 10 seconds ago.  It's a nice sad song, and you know I'm a sucker for sad songs.  Man, Dokken rocked in the 80's, hee hee.  Of course, would I play it in my Grand Cherokee?  Not loud"

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