Sex

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Get this book, from the Pick Up Artist, Mystery

Q: "Is it normal to orgasm just by thinking about someone (I mean uncontrollable spasms throughout my body for about 10-15 minutes!)--not even touching myself?"" --Excited in R.I.
A: "Which photo of mine are you using when this happens? hee hee. You are highly orgasmic. I've met a few girls like this in my life. You are truly special. Don't worry about it, You are blessed!

Q: "I am 25 years old and whenever I have sex it seems that I am always wanting a guy to give me more oral sex because it seems that I am always giving more in that department so how can I tell any guy that I am having sex with to give the same amount of oral as I give him?" GG
A: "Make him go down on your first. Let him know, once he gives you an orgasm that way, you'll blow his mind. And get him into 69 more"

Q:" I'm 18 and I live in Southern Ca. My boyfriend and I have great sex... we both like porn and sex toys and all kinds of fun stuff.. we fuck all the time.. and its fucking hot.. but I want to have a threesome with another girl ( I had one with my ex) and he's not into it.. any suggestions on talking him into it? Other than getting the other girl, getting him drunk/ stoned and raping him... her on his face.. me fucking him...??? By the way.. if he doesnt go for it.. where do you live? You seem hot... I suck good cock... Love Amanda"
A: "You need to assure him that you are fine with it, he might think that you will get jealous during the session. Also, are you sure you want this? If so, have your friend, flirt with him, let her get him hot, then it should fall into place. Hopefully he's not a fag, and he'll enjoy him jumping his bones first, then you take command. You should like the perfect girlfriend, this guy needs to wake up. I live in South Florida, near Fort Lauderdale, bring your friend, quick."

And Amanda's follow up
Q: So, now theres this hot couple who want to have a threesome with me. I'm really in to it... but I think I might feel guilty if I go behind my fiances back... hmmm. Should I go have the threesome, or wait and see if my man changes his mind?? Love Amanda"
A: You are 18 and engaged? Are you kidding? And to top it off you aren't getting the sex you want from your boyfriend? Get out NOW.

Q: "I've been with my gf over a year and our sex life is dramatically slowing down. She doesn't seem interest doing it with me anymore, and she has a lot of guy friends. She spend more of her time with her friends than me. So can you tell me what should I suspect if she is cheating? KYM
A: "Dude, she's either cheating right now, or will, or will dump you. Sounds bad, she's on her way out of your life.. Dump her first"

Q: "what's the fastest way to give a girl an orgasm? without having sex" Kenny
A: "Show her a video of me washing my car"

Q: "hey meni you need to help me ok well me and my girl have been going out for 2 years and we have had sex and everything she has even gave me head and she is awesome at it but i want to have more sex what do i tell her?

Q: "i want to approach a guy to do oral sex on me but he just blows me by telling me later what would be a good idea to make him want to do me?" Eat me PLz
A: "That's a tough one. Get him in the sack, make out with him and push his head down, just like he'd do to you. Make sure you smell good"

Q: "Meni, my girlfriend is 17 and loves fucking too much, I think. We fuck every day but when her parents aren't home she has her dog lick her til she cums. I saw that myself and also saw her suck him off. She told me that he sometimes fucks her and she cums multiple times, but she never cums multiple times with me. Do you think she is telling me the truth and can she get a disease and pass it onto me?"
A: "What kind of dog?"

Q: "i cant seem to get my gf to get an orgasm and i dont know what to do" Trunksg
A: "Ask her what she likes. Try giving her oral, and listen to what she likes. You have a way better chance making her orgasm with your tongue, than with your tiny dick. If she's cute, I'll give her an orgasm"

Q: "Meni, Help I am a 21 year old virgin. Abstinence is great, but I don't know how much longer I can wait before jumping some poor helpless guy. Any advice?" Horny in Ohio
A: "Do you want to stay a virgin? If so, masturbate. If not, use a condom and have sex. If you need a really hot guy, call me"

Q: "yo Meni!! ure site is dope. yeah i got a question the other day i smoked sooo much shit (weed nothing else!!) that i realy no what i was doin and i was fooling around with this girl in my friends house and i started to fuck the bitch up her ass. i really liked it and so did she. We fucked again the normal way and she said the first time was better the feeling was mutual. am i a fag??" Mr lover-not-a-fighter L.A.
A "Fucking a chick up the ass is not gay. Fucking a guy up the ass is gay. Don't worry dog, you are all set, keep fucking the hoes"

Q: "me and my girl are in love she loves the sex we fuck all the time but she never want to do anything and she lies all the time." K. Kentucky
A: "Get out of Love, just fuck her. She lies? That's not someon you should be committed to"

Q: "I met my cousin from oregon for the first time and after a few days we got real close. She`s been hinting to want to have sex or do sunthin sexual with me-what should i do?" wiggidy wakk-d
A: "First cousin? Don't! 2nd cousin? how hot is she? wicked hot? if its not illegal... do it"

Q: "where is the best place to have sex? Where do you have sex at Meni? Wiz OHIO
A: "Best place? a bed, no rug burns. Me? My bed, or hers. You'll want blowjobs on the couch while you watch tv."

Q: "How do you eat a girl out? ian sanderson surrey , b.c. , canada
A" "Dude, next time, leave your street address and zip. Actually, practice makes perfect. Let the girl direct you to what she likes. Writing the alphabet with your tongue is good. Work the clit, not too rough. Throw a dildo in her too, she'll love you"

Q: "Meni I think I like getting oral sex more than getting pussy is that weird" Mike P. Cali
A: "It's perfectly normal. I'm like that. I'd prefer to get blown, and have her on her way, instead of fucking her, and there's a chance of her staying over."

Q: "Can you friendship with me. Can you sex with me. Can you fuck with me."
A: "Sure. Probably. Definitely."

Q: ""Meni, I'm scared of getting head cos my last girlfriend went for about an hour (twice) and I didn't spunk, furthermore it took about 15 minutes to jack off after. And I was never as hard as I am when looking at porn. Dya reckon it was cos she was a crap minger? Is going for hours when with a girl normal? Buffy lover, England
A: "Were you drinking? or on drugs? That could make you not blow a load. Otherwise, you need a new girl. She isn't doing it for you. Enjoy head, don't be uptight. Relax, and get into it, talk to her while she does it. Make her get naked if she's got a nice bod, play with her tits. And if you still don't get off, look at it this way, you are superior to her, you beat her, make her feel like shit, hee hee"

Q: ""I met this guy a few months ago at school and we became pretty good friends. Anyways I want to get serious with him and everytime I do something with him I try as best I can to come onto him. So far he hasnt asked me out yet and I'm getting discouraged, Then I finally asked him if he wanted to come over to my house, HE said NO!!!! At a last ditch effort to get him in bed with me, I told him I would blow him in an athroom at school or anywhere he wanted. He still said no. And I am hot girl, I could get almost any guy at my school. Am I doing something wrong with this guy, is he the slow type, what? Lesile from Seattle
A: "This can't be real. He may be gay. Did you misspell your name?"

Q: "HI, I HAVE AN ABNORMALLY LARGE PENIS AND IT HAS HURT EVERY GIRL I HAVE HAD SEX WITH. I'M 16, I HAVE DONE IT WITH 4 SIXTEEN YR OLDS AND 3 SEVENTEEN YR OLDS. I SUPPOSE I DON'T MIND THE ""LARGE COCK"" REPUTATION, BUT I'D MUCH RATHER THE GIRLS SAY ""OOOH, YOU'RE GOOD"" THAN ""OWWW, THIS HURTS"", PLEASE HELP!!!" anonymous
A: "Don't stick it in so far. Thank god you are hung, don't worry, you will get more pussy than an avg size cock guy"

Q: "whats an orgy" anonymous
A: "When a bunch of people have sex in one room" my defintion. Dictionary.com says "A revel involving unrestrained indulgence, especially sexual activity"

Q: "MY BOYFRIEND SAYS THAT I CAN'T GO DOWN ON HIM BUT HE CAN GO DOWN ON ME BECAUSE HE'LL HAVE TO KISS ME AFTER THAT. BUT WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?" anonymous
A: "What a little pussy he is. Like he's gonna taste his dick. Hell, I always grab a chick by the hair while she's blowing me and kiss her a lot. Uh OH, does that mean I am subconsciously sucking my own cock? NO. I'm cool, he's stupid"

Q: "Yo meni. My dick is about 7 inches but my dumbass parents didn't circumsize me after I was born. What do women think about uncircumsized males? I think I am pretty clean, I dont get any wet spots on my draws or anything. And the 2 girls I have fucked were cool with it.. I I was thier first.. blah.. HELP!!" anonymous
A: "You are doing fine, lots of anteaters out there. Stay clean, and fuck long and hard, and use your tongue too"

Q: ""hi my husband and i had a threesome with a friend and now he is wanting it with another couple but the threesome caused alot of problems I dont want to continue this anymore but he is making me feel guilty as hell. He doesnt see the problems or doesnt care. Help what do i do" anonymous
A: "Divorce. Keep fantasies, fantasies. He is a horndog."

Q: "WHY DO MOST BLONDS LIKE TO BITE MY DICK WHEN THEY GIVE ME BLOWJOBS" anonymous
A: "Well stop raping them"

Q: "My name is Pascal. I love to masturbate, peticularly when my partner is watching. I would also like her to masturbate while I watch her. But she refuses. What can I do?" Costa Rica
A: "Find a new partner"

Q: "hey meni, how come my boyfriend don't like to lick my nipples? but i think when he licks my nipples feel good and horny. ann wilson, LA, cali
A: "Your boyfriend is just looking out for himself. He's not a giving lover, dump him and I'll likc your nipples. ARE you hot?

Q: "My girlfriend is really Hot and I told her that we should do couple porn together and she is totally down wich is fuckin great, but I was wondering how you get in the porn industy and get paid to fuck girl freind? dub WA, clark"
A: "Have her to porn, you stay home and collect the checks"

Q: "i have lots of little bumps on my penis some of them squeeze out like zits and others just are there but there is alot of them and im scared to go to the docters becase they will probably laugh at me. spokane wa
A: "The doctor won't laugh, BUT I WILL, HA HA HA HAHA"

Q:"do woman really like 12"" of rock hard cock or is it to much Jackle, IN
A: "12 inches is too much"

Q: "I�m 16, and I need to masturbate every day. That isn�t normal, is it? horny from germany
A: "Very normal"

Q: "how does it feel like to have sex for the first time? cathy
A: "It stings really bad, it'll hurt, you'll want it to end really quick, no matter how much lube you use"

Q: "How do I make my girlfriend orgasm" anonymous
A: "Play with her clit, while you fuck her and she's blowing me"

Q: "What are good positions? sex j dog ny
A: "Quarterbacks, get the chicks, you might be tight end now, but soon you'll be a wide receiver. Doggie, and reverse cowgirl anal rule!

Q: "what size should a dick be" anonymous
A: "7 inches is fine. Lynne said, 'big enough to find, small enough to suck' she's had John Holmes"

Q: "IM 24 and ive STILL hadn't had sex, can you help me?? anonymous
A: "Yes, are you a girl?, go up and ask a guy, someone will say yes to fucking you. If you are a guy? lose weight you fat fuck"
Lynne Lopatin's answer "Lose weight, take a bath, brush your teeth and stop hitting on supermodels... ask at least one woman out every week, and don't act like Meni"

Q: "do girls cum? what does it look like? is it white like sperm? my penis is 14 inches long. I FUCKED MENI USA
A: "Girls cum, vaginal lubricant and colorless... there is no resevoir...it is simply an increased secretion from the vaginal walls...just more wetness"

Q: "hi i was fingering my girlfriend and she wanted to ride my cock but i didn't have a condom, should i still let her ride me!!! chad patey
A: "Practice safe sex, especially with your dirty whore girlfriend"

Q: "how do i find a guys g-spot?" anonymous
A: "We don't have g-spots. But I'll play along, our g-spot is our prosate, hit it hard and we gush the cum out"

Q: "MENI, WHY DURING NORMAL VAGINAL SEX WOULD A WOMEN HAVE A BOWEL MOVEMENT? IS THIS NORMAL? SANDI LA/USA
A: "She had a coffee, and the penis was so big, it forced shit out"

Q: "Do 8 inch or longer Dicks really exist? Janna from the Philippines
A: "Oh yes they do"

Q: "My husband and I are looking to get into a swingers situation, he has been fantiszing about it for a long time. I am interested in pursuing this with him now in our relationship. Any suggestions on safe places to go to? and if we really like or should I say if I really like it then what do I do?" very wet butterfly
A: "You sure you wanna do this? He may love it, you may hate it, and he may stray. Hit a swingers club, or check adult personal ads. Don't know how safe they are, but its a start, always use protection, and if you ever are in my area, look me up"

Q: "Meni, i have been dating this guy for a while, and i've never been able to ""get him off"" either by a blow job or a hand job. even he has tried (around me) and he doesn't cum. what could this be?" wassup
A: "You suck at blow jobs and you can't give a hand job, and you are probably ugly"

Q: "What is the best way to wack off a guy, please give me some tips on what to do" Pervinde, Pakistan
A: "Get a good lube, like Eros Bodyglide, and use variable speeds, and suck on the fucking thing."

Q: "If you give oral sex to a woman and she is hiv positive what are the risks?" Ricky, England
A: "vaginal fluid may contain the virus. Cells in the mucous lining of the mouth may carry HIV into the lymph nodes or the bloodstream. The risk increases if you have cuts or sores around or in your mouth or throat; if your partner ejaculates in your mouth; or if your partner has another sexually transmitted disease (STD). If you are going to have oral sex with a woman, use a latex barrier (such as a dental dam or a cut-open condom that makes a square) between your mouth and the vagina. Plastic food wrap also can be used as a barrier."

Q: ""HOW MANY COCKS HAVE YOU CHOKED ON MENI?" STINKY IN CALIFORNIA
A: "I never choke on cock, I have a great gag reflex, oops, I'm not gay, really, I'm joking"

Q: "When do chicks masturbate?" anonymous
A: "Usually as soon as they set eyes on me"

Q: "Hey Meni, What superstar would you like to fuck?" Crackhead
A: "Britney Spears, Christina Aguillera, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Carmeron Diaz, Carmen Electra, Faith Hill, a few models, Jessica Alba, and Michael Jordan"

Q: "Meni, This girl at work I like is screwing the boss, but she's also hitting on me at the same time. One other thing, she's got a prosthetic leg. What should I do? Gordon P. Austin, Texas
A: "Fuck her, with and without the leg on"

Q: "should I stick to ""normal"" condoms or try those asian ones and fruity ones?" anonymous
A: "Stick to normal, the fruity ones don't taste good"

Q: "Well their is this Gorgeous guy and i wanna have sex with him, he is leaving for the air force in nov. i wanna be friends with privilages...and he told me thats cool and just to get up with him so i wanna make it the BEST he has ever had....how can i make this sex the best b/c i have only slept with one person." WannaBeTheBest
A: "Practice makes perfect. You be good at something, you have to do it a lot. Want my cell phone number?"

Q: "meni, what's the best way to learn how to deepthroat huge cocks?" Debbi,Tx USA
A: Practice makes perfect, or practive on a banana. Learn to relax your throast muscles, and work on you gag reflex.

Q: "do you swallow, bitch?" anonymous
A: "Only beer out of your slut's snatch"

Q: ""does this sound weird... I want to have sex with a girl while she is peeing? what would it be like.. I think it is the most kinkyest thing I could do? any input would be cool" Maverick In Canada
A: "Any input? her ass or pussy"

Q: ""Is swallowing sperm healthy?" SALSA from az/usa
A: "Yes, I supply anywhere from 5 to 10 girls a week with good clean protein"

Q: "what is the most pleasurable position for a man when a woman has sex with him?" baby from ks/us
A: "I am lazy, I make the chick get on top. Doggie is good too."

Q: "HELP!!!! After having my child i can't have an orgasm. I have the feeling and i think i'm getting close but them it just stops and nothing happens. What can i do or what can my husband do? Thanks" fed up
A: "See a doctor. Or get a sexual surrogate, I think if you live near me I can make you orgasm"

Q: "i make love with my wife every two days will this effect my health n how to contrrol it pls let me know?" anonymous
A: "Its healthy to have sex with your wife, I enjoy it too"

Q: "how do i finger a girl correctly" gilad
A: "Gilad, why do you care? you are gay right? hmm, correctly finger a girl, I'd lube, insert finger, push in and out, with your other hand, rub the clit"

Q: "my girlfriend is still a virgin and she wants to fuck. Since I'm her first I want to make it the best for her . can you help me? Mr. Shovels OH
A: "Yes I direct the action, and even perform with her"

Q: "how go i give oral sex??" anonymous
A: "You got to lick it, before we kick it"

Q: "is it natural that if i finger my girlfriend before sex then she starts hurting during sex?" Horndog FL
A: "Is it natural? I don't think so. She probably hurts during sex cuz you are so fucking ugly"

Q: "hi, i was wondering, is it true that being drunk (or high) has an effect on you blowing your load?" josh li
A: "Absolutely, you moron. You senses are dulled, you don't get quite as excited, you should stay hard, but you'll also last a long time"

Q: "My boyfriend and I have not had sex but we use hands, nearly every time he's finished I'm bleeding and I don't know why????? Also where do you find the female g-spot and do males have one???" Australia, Clueless
A: "He's ripping you apart, use his cock next time, please. the female g spot is located up and IN in your hole"

Q: "What do I do when my girlfriend gives me a blow job and I cum in her mouth" anonymous
A: "Ask her to spit it back in your mouth. That's called snowballing, you'll love it"

Q: "Please give me some tips on how to make my girlfriend have an orgasm orally. I've tried and tried but she never experiences an orgasm." Thanks, john
A: "Lick the clit, tease the clit, call it names. Let her guide you, grab a vibrator, use it, concentrate on getting her off."

Q: "here is some advice when playing with a girls boobs first massage lick & suck their brests then move on to the nipple do the same the go back to then boob and start biting, nibbeling at it then do the same for the nipple it feels great, also is it better if girls shave their vagina before sex??" Amy
A: "Yes, shave, I don't want to see Don King between your legs"

Q: "I am seriously worried about my sex drive. I just can't get into what I'm doing when I'm going down on a girl, or she's pleasuring me. Physically, it feels great, I want to do a backflip every time I see that familiar bobbing hairline on a girl, but emotionally, I'm just out in left field, and it really hurts my performance. I know I can do more for the girl, but I'm too busy thinking about how low the roof is in the back seat, or other pointless stuff. I'm 18 and I've never even gotten myself off-I've never needed to, sex has always been a game, not an obsession or deep craving. I think its obvious I have a low sex drive, but what can I do?" Twig'n'Berries, Cincinnati, OH
A: "My friend, do pictures of the Men's Gymnastic team make you warm? Actually, you don't need a strong sex drive. Why bother, get a good job and work"

Q: "I dont get it, my girlfriend can rub her clitorus and go through countless orgasms in five minutes, and she dosent even half to go down her panties, but if i do it it takes me at least four or five minutes before she has an orgasm, is that natural?" anonymous
A: "Yes it's natural, she takes four minutes to orgasm when I finger your girlfriend. How is Lisa?"

Q: "Do most women like it up the ass, or is my wife unique?" anonymous
A: "Most women love it up the ass, but you gotta work it in very slow. But once it is in, ream away on her. As to you wife being unique, she is, she's fucking your ugly ass, hee hee"

Q: "I love to jack off, what do you think of that?" anonymous
A: "I think I'm getting horny, I gotta jack off"

Q: "Meni, This ONE time, my ex and i had planned on having sex the whole day with foreplay through out the day, and we never got around to sex, so we slept in the same bed, and when we woke up, she was horny as fuck and wanted to fuck, so i put on the condom, and stuck it in, and i think i thrusted like 7 or 8 times and then busted like a 2 pump chump.. Why was that??? Could it be that i waited all night and day for over 10 hours for sex being constandilly horny???? I'm this never happend before, ever, it freaked me out!!!!" anonymous
A: "Exactly. Actually in the morning you are wicked horny because your testerone level is wicked high. That explains morning wood. So what if you lasted 10 seconds, she's lucky to have you around, Stallion"

Q: "hi meni, i have a question, my name is lance. form wiscosin, usa, subject is oral sex! i have a prob with wanting oral sex more than actual sex, it get my girlfriend crazy, and i understand completely, what can i do!" Lance
A: "Drink, seriously, I love head better than fucking, its so easy to sit back and enjoy it. Ok, for sex make her get on top, and you relax that way too."

Q: "On the weekends my wife wants to have sex first thing when we get up, all I want to do is take a dump reading the Sunday comics (maybe even before having coffee). Any suggestions on how we can overcome this dichotomy of desires?" Esstee, New York
A: "Let her blow you while you dump"

Q: "I agree with you about the freedom of being single. You get tired of someone, you can easily (usually) get rid of 'em. I've been down the marriage road, too. Got off at the next exit. Reason? We had a daughter. But... she wasn't mine. Dig? I managed to release my parental rights because her real father was still around. In fact, I knew him. Damn near killed him. But that's another 2 stories. Anyway, I tell ya! Financially, it was the best thing. But sometimes I miss being a father. I took care of her for 2 years before I knew. Sometimes I still wonder how she's doing. But I'm not a part of her life anymore. I hope your marriage and divorce wasn't as painful, man. I wouldn't wish that kinda shit on ANYONE! Be cool, man! Ricochet - Dallas, TX
Comment from Meni, "where you on Springer?"

Q: "Lately i cant seem to cum when having sex with my girlfriend, even after we do it for three hours, i know being able to go for a long time is good but my girlfriend gets tired and im left still horny, I hardly ever jerk off, and my girlfriend is pretty hot, so whats wrong with me and is there a way to cure it? hornydude CA
A: "You are gay. You don't like girls. Or time to move on, partner, new chick needed"

Q: "I tried to fist some girl at a party and i lost my watch. what should i do? guy with no watch
A: "Take if off the dick of the next guy that fucks her"

Q: "i fucked a girl up the ass, didnt use a condom. can i get STD's" anonymous
A: "Yes, next time wrap it, lube it, and make sure it's a girl, you did a transvestite!"

Q: "Hi Meni: My wife loves having two guys at once. it does not bother me. Is there something wrong with me? And, does she want it becasue of a need to be dominated or the opposite?" anonymous
A: "Nothing wrong my friend, you have an open mind. She wants it cuz she's one horny bitch, no offense"

Q: "Where is the clitorus?" anonymous
A: "Vagina, spread the hood, upper area, nice little fleshy thing to play with"

Q: "I had sex a few times....not much...but i Cum too quickly when im doing it...within 5 - 8 minutes. It doesnt seem enough for my GF...she told me she didnt CUM...but i cant do anymore...so how about u give me some advice to MAke her have an ORgasim and CUm...it seems REEALLY REALLY hARD to do such a thing" anonymous guy who can't type or spell
A: "give her my number. Just kidding, go down on her, find the G spot with your 2 fingers and lick and play with her clit, bingo"

Q: "I come soon when inside what to do" early bird
A: "Stop jerking off in the house, do it outside. Oh, you mean with a chick? Jerk off before your date, drink some liquor. You'll be a hero. Also, when you start getting real excited, think of fat ugly chicks, no not the pig you are banging, nevermind."

Q: "Is french kissing ok on the first date? BB Hollywood, FL
A: "Absolutely. I find sometimes I get blown before I even kiss the chick, thats called, at least up North, 'the Meni move'."

Q: "hey i have a curved penis, and i was wondering if that was a bad thing or a good thing do girls get turned off by it? but i also heard that it is better for sex" consern teen ny,ny
A: "If its curved right, you can nail the g spot. Dude be happy you got a dick"

Q: ""Anthony, I was great friends with a man (we enjoyed spending all our time together while I was in a long distance marriage) and we had amazing sexual energy that I made a move on while I was in the process of leaving my husband. Since I was still technically married, we both reacted strangely the next morning. The sex was amazing, and I know he is kinky like me. However, sleeping together before I was divorced put a strain on our friendship. We've been uncomfortable ever since. I know he enjoyed being with me because I heard him tell a couple people that the last woman he was with was extremely hot and gave him SI joint trouble. He told me that I messed up his back a little that night, so I know it was me he was talking about. Plus, I could tell he was talking loud enough so I could hear him. Anyway, I've filed for divorce and am just waiting for it to go through. The sexual energy is still there; I catch him staring at me all the time, and I just about cum when he rubs his facial hair around his mouth. I don't know how to break the ice, and he hasn't suggested we go to dinner or do anything together alone. I would love to show up on his porch naked, I know he is as frustrated as me. I'm really afraid to be rejected though. Can you give me any insight as to why he is afraid to approach me? We talk casually every once in a while, but it is not like it used to be. I do feel he still wants me, but I very confused by his behavior. Can you help me?" TJ in WA/USA
A: "Let him know you are available now. Let him persue you. He may have just been interested in just a non-serious, purely sexual relationship. If so and if thats cool with you, go for it. If not, I suggest you look elsewhere" ANTHONY

Q: "I recently did my cousin, she is hot, meni, what would you have done." Jim
A: "I would do your cousin too, since you said she's hot. Oh sorry, I realize you are asking me if I'd do my own cousin? First Cousin? NO WAY. 4th cousin, drunk in a bar, last call, and she's a model, YES!!!!

Q: "Meni, what is the freakiest thing you have ever done with a woman in bed (or anywhere else for that matter!)?" Las Vegas Princess
A: "Well, first off, I lost your number, so email me, or call me. Freakist thing? uh, ah, I think I answered something like that before but not sure what page its on. Maybe this one. Well, hint hint, when I'm in Vegas July 8-10, you can help me get really freaky, DEAL?"

Q: "I came home and found my girlfriend in bed with another girl and a pony when I saw this I got so hard I shot my load in my pants is this normal?" anonymous
A: "Oh no man, I always blow it quick if I see shetland ponies in action, how fat is your girlfriend? bigger than the pony?"

Q: "Hi Meni Do you think it would feel good to have sex in the butt?" anonymous
A: "I don't know, let me get my buddy Eric over here and I'll try it"

Q: "What is the best way to get your female partner to let you watch her have sex with a Well hung Dog?" LittleDick, PA
A: "Pay her lots of money. Dog? you mean canine? or Snoop Dog?"

Q: "What is the right way to have oral sex to make a guy go crazy?" peaches
A: "Well, mom, .. I mean peaches, deep throat him, look at him, look at his hidden video camera on the chair under his coat, have a hot friend join you, do it while he watches football, and do it nude, (if you look good nude). Suck hard, suck fast, suck slow, lick, let him basically skull fuck you while he thinks about hotter girls"

Q: "There is this slut at my school and when I was doing her she queefed, and I felt all wierd, what do I do, she didn't even care that she queefed all on me, and when I was playing with her 'forbidden zone' (hehe) she did it again should I tell someone"
A confused guy
A: "You already told someone, ME. I'm going to your school this week and tell everyone about her! Actually, keep doing her, till you get bored, should be a month or so, dude is she hot? fat? ugly?"

Q: "Meni, I need your help! The way you talk about sex just turns me on my lover is so fucking boring in bed I feel like I need to find someone like you who is open and honest about sex ( I love your eyes) during sex I never get off and my lover always cums leaving me sexually frustrated and I need some sound advice from you. He is a great guy and I don't want to leave him but I need to get off when I have sex. You know Meni the big O ! Do you make sure the women your with have the big O before you do?????? Multiple? !!!" Sexually frustrated Lady in Boston
A: "First off Ms. Boston, I live 40 minutes away. OK?????? HINT HINT, my email is meni@askmeni.com hint hint. I don't make sure the girl I'm with comes first. Unless I like her. If you are worth it, I'd use toys and shit and make you cum a few times before I started. How long have you been with him? I think you need one to one counseling with me."

Q: "Is there a best or fastest way to finger a girl? If so, what is it? Jason AZ
A: "Jason, my boy, best and fast are both different. Fastest way? 2 shots of tequila. Best way? why do you care what the girl feels? its all about you man! You get off, who cares about the girl. Ok just kidding, dude, go gentle, and try to his the g spot way up and in, also spread the lips and play with the clit gently, then call me, I'll come over and do her while you cry"

Q: "I did this girl in the poo-hole, does she like me?" anonymous
A: "Of course she does, she's hooked, you can probably get her to buy you clothes, or maybe Clearsil, chicks who let guys do anal are chicks who let guys do anal"

Q: "What do I do? Jerking off, it just not enough? I am so horny even when I do jerk off?" anonymous masturbater
A: "Fuck sheep, no, ummm, watch the video, 'The Very Best of Bea Arthur', that should straighten you out."

Q: "Do movie stars ever actually have sex whilst filming. I heard this was true of the 1996 film, ""the funeral"". Thanx Rikki
A: "Yes, but very very rarely. Think Mickey Rourke got laid for real in 'Wild Orchid'."

Q: "Hi, my girlfriend, of about a year, recently introduced the idea of going at it with another girl if i wanted. Unlike most guys, i never really thought about this until she brought it up. i think it would be kind of neat, but i'm not to sure about the aftermath. some other things that concern me are the fact that i am the only person who has ever pleasured her orally, and i am the only person who has given her an orgasm. What would happen would be that my girlfriend would perform oral sex on me while another girl licks her, then my girlfriend would pleasure the other girl while i did it doggystlye to my girlfriend. What do you think????? Threesome, KCF, Ohio
A: "Honestly, don't do it. You will never be able to compete with the other girl. Your girlfriend will end up with that girl. Don't do it, actually, it might be too late, you girl wants the other girl, girls satisfy girls, better than men do."

Q: "How do I have phone sex with my boyfriend? I really want to but not sure on how to go about it??????" anonymous
A: "Go in your room, call me, I'll teach you. Or, go in your room, call him, make sure his Mommy is not listening, his Dad is fine, let him listen. Talk about all the nasty things you want to do to ME."

Q: "How can i make my girlfriend orgasm a lot during sex? do you have any position tips" Anonymous
A: "Make sure you talks to you, tells you what she likes. You gotta hit the g-spot, or work the clit like mad. You'r tongue but do better than your dick"

Q: "Whats the best thing to do while giving oral sex that the guy will go crazy about? Anonymous
A: "Bite down hard, just kidding, how about tell him 'Meni is so much bigger, but I'll still suck you'. Look into his eyes while you suck him off."

Q: "Can you tell me a really good way to get my boyfriend horny as hell w/o actually doing anything?" anonymous
A: "Let him screw the girl he really likes, that'll get him horny. Just kidding, if you got sexy eyes, like me, you can drive him wild just by looking at him. Works for me"

Q: "Meni I'm not ugly or anything like that, I'm actually real pretty and hot! I just can't meet a guy that does not just want to have a hit and run relationship. all the boys i have dated just want to have sex with me and run away like im some type of slut. i don't like being treated this way im not a dogg or a bitch that will wags its tail when told to do so. is there anyway i can meet a decent boy between the ages of 14-18 that will except me for me and not as some little whore up the street. I'm really a nice sweet girl, but not the way I'm treated. You probably not going to understand since you are a hit and run dude. right? well please answer this question and soon before i loose my patience with playas like boys i have been dating." anonymous/s.c.
A: "Man, I quit correcting your grammar and spelling. Shit! Anyway, you want a nice guy? hang around the accounting club. Is there a bowling team at your school? Nice guys finish last. Play the game too. No sex till you are ready. Ask mom and dad first. Honestly, let him find you, 14 - 18 is a big difference, how old are you?"

Q: "Where can i find out how to increase the size of my penis for free" joe
A: "The Internet"

Q: "How Do I Make A Girl Sweat" anonymous
A: "Hold a gun to her head. Just kidding, kiss her neck, her inner thighs, massage her, and tell her I'm coming over to do her"

Q: "I dont cum pre-cum even when I am so hot. I am a teen, is that a problem? Does it have something to do with me jerking off a lot." Bob, PA
A: "Bobby, how often is a lot? Don't worry about pre-cum. Just shoot your real wad all over your parents wedding picture"

Q: "Just started dating this guy, was making out with - just kissing - don't want to go all the way -yet- he's 22 I'm 19 - my hand brushed aginst his leg during this makeout session - my god his member must be 12 inches - is that possible? Can I do that without being hurt ?" Katie, NY
A: "12 inches? its possible, rare. You sure it wasn't a zuccini? He may hurt you during sex, I suggest you dump him and call me."

Q: "Okay, Okay. I have read a lot of your site and can see why you feel the way you do about being married. I still feel that two people can grow old together if they work at it, but that is what is wrong with people these days. People are to lazy and will not work on their marriage. It is after the marriage that the real work starts. And this is not just in the bedroom (although that is where I like to spend most of my time). Anyway, good luck to you in your many relationships, I hope that one day you do find the perfect one for you. (by the way, there are a lot of woman who are very loyal to their husbands and will also do what ever they are asked to do sexually, I am proof) Well off to my question. For men, is there a difference in sex between women? If so, what makes it different? What can a woman do to make sure that she is good, and how do you know if you are? My basic problem is that my husband never complains about anything and I mean nothing. If this only happened in the bedroom then I would say that I must be brilliant, but I can sense that their is something missing, but he will not tell me what. He is a very shy in the bedroom and will not tell me what he really likes (it took ten years for him to let me give him a blow job to the point where he finished). When I ask he just gives a little ""it feels good."" I want to blow his socks off. I want to make him explode. Help me. Or am I just wasting my time. Please give me some advice. Desperate Heather. CA, USA
A: "You aren't wasting your time, but maybe you should blow someone who appreciates it. Want my number?"

Q: "Meni how many women/or men have you had total? Take some time to count. I mean in ANY sexual situation (oral, intercourse, fisting, ..........) Kissing and feeling up doesn't count of course" someone is doesn't get laid
A: "Too many. Hello, a number? How about a percent? About 20% of the female population. Ask me last sexual situation, in that case Saturday"

Q: "Whats the kinkiest sex act you have ever performed" anonymous
A: "Not really into kinky I guess. I've done bondage, role playing, 2 on one, been watched while in car, in a sleeping bag in a living room in front of unsuspecting people, some disipline, anal, pics, video, nothing really nuts. No piss, no shit, no twins, no midgets, no relatives."

Q: "Meni, for the past 4 months I have been trying to avoid my ex who did some horrible shit to me causing me to break up with him. He wants to get back together with me but I told him no over and over. Last night....I let him stay over and we had nice crazy sex....and I want so bad for him to understand that I don't want to be his girlfriend anymore but I would love for him to be my fuck buddy......how do you suggest I go about saying that to him??? I don't mean to sound so insensitive.........but, I love sex...and although I don't want a commitment to anyone right now....I want someone I can just go.......fuck!!! By the way, this is from that same fat ugly piece of shit girl who asked if she could ever have a guy like you! ;)" fat ugly piece of shit girl
A: "Tell him flat out you want to see other people, then just give him booty calls, he'll come and fuck you for sure, unless he's gay. You can have me, ......for one night"

Q: "Meni, I need help! I want to introduce my VERY vanilla lover to fine art of BDSM, but he takes no joy whatsoever is tying me up and spanking me. I don't want to leave him. Is there any way to introduce him to this, to bring out and encourage his Inner Dom, or is it something that isn't an acquired taste? I'm desperate!" Southern Belle in Need of a Spanking
A: "If he doesn't have it in him, he won't change. You don't have to leave him, I'll see you behind his back and wreck you nightly"

Q: "Okay Meni, I just got my tongue pierced (I'm female, by the way) and I'm not quit sure how to perform oral sex using the tongue ring to increase stimulation (on a man). Any tips??" anonymous
A: "Try working the head of the penis with it. In all actuality the piercing really doesn't help us (men). Now if you choose to orally service a female, that piercing should help your female friend to get off quicker."

Q: "One personal question: You seem to be quite the ladies man... and I must say you are a extremely handsome guy... Do you sleep around alot? Do you always use protection? =)"
A: "Did I with you?"

Q: "Wow after reading about vaginal orgasms I felt kinda of weak.... weak from the thought of being fisted and the feeling that kind of orgasm would bring.... I have never had this type of orgasm but I would love to.... BUT I feel kinda afraid to.... any advice? anonymous
A: "Meet me in Vegas, Jan 7th."

Q: "My boyfriend has just had his foreskin pierced. Will he still be able to wear condoms or will the ring rip them? And will it make sex painful for me? Horny as hell, GR
A: "Dump him, NOW"

Q: "My guy only lasts about 30 secs in bed but i wanna keep him...what do i do to make him last a lot longer?" J.H.
A: "Have him jerk off before you have sex. He'll last longer, throw in some liquor too. Hell, I use this theory and sometimes don't cum at all"

Q: "Meni, My question is about sex and I was wondering what is the best way to give oral sex to a female. What parts of the vagina should you concentrate on?" anonymous
A: "The Clitorus!!!!!! Lick the Clit, play with the Clit gently. Also
throw in some fingers and push on her g-spot. When going down on her, encourage her to help with her hand masturbating herself. Write the alphabet with your tongue."

Q: "Is oral more satisfying to the man or woman, the most?" anonymous cocksucker
A: "Man CAN live on blowjobs alone. We enjoy head more than girls enjoy it. Chicks love their vibrator more than getting oral from a man. Unless the man is me. hee hee"

Q: "We need you to tell our sex toys to do this to us!! OR you can come here and do it to us!! (the female ejaculation thing) -The girls on the 4th floor, UMass
A: "Do I look like a hooker? Satisfy you, and feel used? Girls, just kidding. Fuck, UMASS is a haul, come up to JR's. Either way I'll see you ladies soon. Can you get me to ejaculate???"

Q: "How come some woman can't have human ejaculation? And is it rooted in the G spot or the clitorus? Help I need to get the girl off down the hall!!!!!! Thanks Edwardo "
A: "Vaginal fisting - if done correctly - will usually result in a very violent orgasm, often combined with female ejaculation. The
fisting is usually done by the partner but occasionally women do it themselves. Technical preparations
What you need is (a) lots of lubricant - it usually helps to have either a dispenser or a small bowl available - and (b)
latex gloves.
Latex gloves: do wear them ALWAYS, to avoid damaging the tender inner vaginal tissue, disturbing the vaginal flora
and kidney infections (caused by dirty hands or fingernails). Cut and file your nails very short before fisting, even if you
are wearing latex gloves.
Lubricant: a pro-tip - warm the lubricant slightly before use, for example, by putting the dispenser in bowl of warm
water. It is much more comfortable for the woman NOT to get that cold splash just before the moment supreme. It will
also make it much more difficult to penetrate. Use waterbased lubricant only (not butter, no oil or oil-based substances,
since this will ruin your latex glove and possibly the condom afterwards. Most lubricants contain Nonoxynol. Some
women have allergic reactions to this. If you are not sure, try a little bit in the armpit. If the spot turns red and itchy after
a while, find a lubricant without Nonoxynol.
Emotional preparations
Be aware that this may be an emotional barrier for your partner and talk about it before you even attempt to do it. No
consent? Forget it. It won't work. Remember that the vagina is the most precious female organ, designed for other
purposes and women are usually very protective about it, for obvious reasons.
Next: it's good to know (if fisting is new to you) that the effect is intensely emotional and that after care (always
extremely important) is paramount in this case.
Technique
Fisting takes time and patience. Remember that the vagina has some very obvious defense systems. If you go too quick,
the muscles will cramp in defense and you won't get anywhere.
Start with one finger and WAIT until sufficient room exists for the next finger and so on. Once you have three fingers in
it usually helps to use your thumb to stimulate the clitoris as well. Use lots and lots of lubricant. Not only will it make
penetration easier, feeling extremely wet will also increase your partners' lust.
Once you are able to get four fingers in, you are close but now you need to take extra time. Stimulate the G-spot and the
clitoris at the same time. WAIT until the vagina starts to "absorb" your fingers (you can feel that). Then lay your thumb
alongside your middle finger, form an arrow and very carefully push without applying force. Twist your hand a little bit
until you suddenly and naturally glide in. When inside, form a fist and keep moving up and down.
Warning - THERE IS A DIFFERENCE between those who have had babies and not: the contractions can be extremely
violent, even more with women that have NOT yet given birth. Do not retract in the middle of an orgasm, but stay inside
and let your wrist cope with the contractions. If you retract it is not impossible your partner will seriously hurt or even
break your fingers (apart from being extremely disappointed).
After the orgasm, retract slowly and let the vagina do the pushing out. When necessary, apply some extra lubricant.
Self fisting
Most of the technique is the same, only: BE EXTRA CAREFUL. The best way to do it is to half sit and half lay on a
couch or chair with your feet on the coffee table. Spread your legs widely and do have a (hand) mirror available so you
can see what you are doing. Be aware that your orgasm may be violent and you can easily break your own wrist (!!!) or
crush your precious clit.
Female ejaculation
Female ejaculate is worked up in the spongy area around the female urethra, AKA the G-spot, located at the upper part of the
vagina, just behind the entrance. It actually feels like a little sponge! When stimulated, this little sponge will fill itself with
fluid.
A G-spot orgasm, combined with ejaculation, is much like the male orgasm, including the physical fatique. Stimulating the
G-spot to the level where it will ejaculate requires three major items: time, play and (usually but not always) vaginal
fist-fucking. To get there, start with stimulating the G-spot with your fingers and slowly and tenderly work your way to the
point where you can slip your hand into the vagina (wear latex gloves at all times, not only to protect yourself but also to
protect the tender inner vaginal tissue and use lots and lots of lubricant).
Once you are in, stimulate and stimulate and stimulate (literally pump up the volume) until you feel the vaginal muscles
contracting around your wrist. Now change position. Leave four fingers in the vagina and lay your thumb over the clitoris.
Now simply squeeze the G-spot from behind and - like you were pressing an orange or a lemon - you will squeeze out the
liquid.
Whatever you do now: DON'T STOP! The orgasm will not only be very, very, very intense, it will also revolve. Let it come
and come and come again until your sub tells you to stop. This revolving orgasm may very well last for ten to fifteen minutes.
Squeeze out the liquid, ease up a little and when the next wave comes up, squeeze again. There is more to come.
A couple of useful tips:
1.If the both of you are into bondage: by all means tie your girlfriend down. The movements will be extremely strong,
unexpected, uncontrolled and sometimes can be spasmodic. This really is an orgasm like she has never had before.
2.Spread the bed with lots and lots of towels, because you do not know how much fluid may come out, but there's a fair
chance it will easily fill up two or three layers of towel.
3.Be careful and think about safe sex. The fluid may spray around like a fountain and may spray as far as your partner's
knees and about half a yard high. (The fluid may contain the HIV-virus but this is killed within seconds after it has left
the body and exposed to a temperature lower than the average body temperature.)
4.Be careful about your own fingers. The orgasmic contractions may come to the level of contractions when a woman is
giving birth. This can be a very painful experience to the fister. If you can not stand it anymore, remove a finger but DO
NOT remove your hand.
Be prepared for shouting, yelling and possibly animal-like roars. Have a drink ready, because she probably will be
very thirsty and cover her a.s.a.p. to avoid her catching a cold. Keep in mind that many women do not know about the
vaginal orgasm, but once you are into it nothing - repeat nothing - feels more intense. "

Q: "Meni, I'm beautiful and great in bed but I was just wondering if men think of other women while having intercourse with their partner." a liar
A: "Some men do. I think of Fabio when I'm banging a hot blonde. Oops, I mean, um, yes we do. Especially if you suck in bed. Only I can be the judge of that. Call me."

Q: "Is oral sex, losing your virginity? Man to woman or vice versa." anonymous
A: "Nope, I think you gotta sink the pink to lose your virginity. Oral sex is barely more than kissing. Hell, I get more oral sex than I do kissing."

Q: "OK, Meni, how 'bout this? How important do you think sex is to a relationship. Let's say a girl is with a guy who is a terrific guy, treats her probably better than he should, and is really devoted to her. But the sex is well, pretty blah. A girl is lucky to find a guy who cares so much about her, but what to do in this situation. Seriously, now, can a girl make a guy a better lover or is this something guys have to be born knowing?" EarthGoddessGurl, KY
A: "Sex is very important. If the sex sucks, you will leave. Guarantee. Make him a better lover? Sure you can, I see a kindler Meni in this answer. I could easily say, drop the zero, get with a hero. But your boy can get better. Men can be born with sexiness. But just the act of sex, tell him what you like. Where to touch you. How to use his tongue. Communication of important. There's hope. If not, call me, I'll service you."

Q: "What is the best blowjob you have ever experienced?" Peggy
A: "Performed by a girl or a guy??? Just kidding. OK, 1998, waitress. married blonde, about 29, nice body, one night stand, never seen her again, picked her up at her work, (strip club, she got fired a week later), bragged how good she was, and she was that good. Although I outlasted her, 30 minutes, I didn't cum, (alcohol) she is still ranked as the best I've had. Damn, sucked like a porn star, fast, hard, shit, I gotta stop. Don't remember her name."

Q: "Why do people pierce their private areas, how does that stimulate them sexually." Linda, MA
A: "Piercing makes an area much more sensitive, therefore, for example, making many things feel better with less effort. I for instance have both my nipples pierced and if someone accidently brushes up against my breast it excites me." [Special Guest Advisor, Danielle of TreyParker.com]

Q: "How would you make this girl cum?" Amy, Texas
A: "Put her in a room with me for 5 minutes"

Q: "How many times a week do you Jeck off? And does this lower your sperm count cause I like to drop the the biggest load I can when she blows me into to her mouth?" B.M
A: "First, it's Jack off, check spelling. Depends if I'm horny, I'm guessing 3. Lower sperm count? I think of sperm count as ratio of sperm per load, blowing loads shouldn't hurt that, but then again I'm not a doctor, but I play one in some clubs."

Q: "What was your first sexual encounter with a man?" M.S.
A: "Did you forget our first trip camping?? Seriously, 7/7/87, I remember exactly, I still have the receipt"

Q: "Why does my penis have little warts on them!! HELP help" E.S
A: "Are we banging the same chicks?"